Being Heard

In my day to day life I speak to a ton of people.

Sometimes one at a time.  Sometimes in very large groups.

Either way it is ultimately for the same reason.  To share my passion and to be heard.  After all it is what we ultimately want when we open our big mouths isn’t it?

Over many years of crafting this skill there are a few things I have learned that lead to success when speaking with others.

1)  Your audience must see a need for topic or solution you are speaking about.  This doesn’t matter if you are a Pastor, Trainer, Technical Advisor…etc.  If the audience isn’t tuned into your passion, you are wasting your time.

2)  Your passion for the topic must be 100% genuine.  No exceptions.

3)  You must always speak from a point of empathy and understanding.  You cannot force people to listen to you, but, if you can empathize with them you will have a focused audience.

4)  You MUST LISTEN first and always speak second.  You never speak to a group or individual that you do not have first hand knowledge of.  How do you get that?  Simple, ASK a lot of questions.

5)  Lose the ego.  Very few people can get up in front of a large group and speak to it.  Just because you can doesn’t mean you are special and if you think it does, you are an…..well, I will stop at that.

6)  And finally, never fall into the “Everyone Should Listen” or “Everyone Needs My Advice” trap.  It’s garbage and guess what…NO THEY DON’T.  This is the quickest step to be marked as a used car salesman or magic potion pedler….no offense to those who sell magic potions.

That’s my quick 6 thoughts on Being Heard.  Now it’s your turn.

What would you add to this list?

The “Elephant In The Room”

A couple of weeks back I was offered some “Advice” from a “Relative” who claimed they were doing so because of The Elephant In The Room that is my weight.  Ummm.  I am not skinny by any means but also not ready to be a contestant on Biggest Loser either.  I digress.

First a very brief back story.  1)  This relative I have met once for about 45 minutes 2 years ago.  2)  Only communication comes via remote family and through Facebook and 3)  This relative has no formal contact with my family.

That said, I found the Elephant in the Room (EIR) approach laughable to say the least as my understanding of an EIR is there has to be a group of select individuals in and around you that see a known problem and thus know you are trying to avoid the discussion.

I avoid nothing in terms of these types of discussions hence no EIR.

I shift this whole thing to someone remote (and now no longer) in my life offering advice that I wasn’t looking for and/or asking for.  And someone completely unqualified to do so as well making it even more infuriating.

So, before I get waaaaayyy off on a soapbox and get nasty about all this I have my question of the day.

What are the rules for giving advice especially when it comes to things like weight, relationships and health?  

I will start.  Advice is given only when seeked from another or when the relationship is strong enough to respect it and appreciate the offering.

And, GO!

ps…sorry for my absence…think I am finally back :)

New Site-Update

Hello all.

Okay, I vanished eh?

Needless to say work has been insane thus my David Copperfield like vanishing act.

Now the update on the new site. It’s getting there.

Many of you had awesome ideas for names but I had to pick one for the prize.

Drumroll

The winner is Chris, aka Churchpunk!

Hopefully as I get closer to the holiday I will have a little more time to get this momma fired up and let you all see.

Until then, Merry Christmas and/or Happy Chanukah.

Name My New Site- ps…there is a prize!

I need help.

I am in the process of launching a new site dedicated to Technology but cannot come up with a creative name.  Especially one that is available with a .com extension.

So here is the help I need.

Help me name my new site!

Send in your ideas via the comment section or via twitter @jcdulaney.

I will review the names over the next 7 days and the one that wins gets the prize.

What’s the prize you ask?  $20 Gift Card to Starbucks.  Don’t like coffee, I can send something else.

Alright….get to it.  Help me get a great name for my site!  GO!

Healthy Fascinations?

My family is fascinated with one tv show in particular, Toddlers and Tiaras.

Why I am not sure.

Maybe it is because it makes us feel like better parents when we watch all of the crazy Mom’s on the show.

It could be because my daughter feels like a better child after seeing all of the temper tantrums thrown that she would never consider having with us.

In fact, we like the show so much, we thought for Halloween we would let Emma go as a “Contestant” as she roamed the neighborhood for candy.

That said, here is my question.

Can a show like Toddler and Tiaras actually be a “Healthy” fascination or does it break down some social fabric and actually cause harm?

Insert:  Photo of our Little Ms Supreme Title Winner (In Character of Course!)

Off The Grid

Starting tomorrow I am going off the grid until the 23rd.

No twitter. No Facebook. No Blog. No work. No cell.

Several reasons.

1) Vacation and limited access
2) Need to unwind and mentally regroup
3) Next few months will be crazy and I need to be ready
4) I just need a break

I’m looking forward to the break to be honest as I think it will totally refocus me.

My question for you today.

Do you ever go off the grid? What were the benefits? Challenges for you?

Perfection

Do you strive for perfection every day?

In your craft?

Just a thought for the day.  Here is some Football Perfection from someone who has obviously invested in the pursuit of perfection.

A New Venture?

In the near future I will be embarking on a new blog adventure.

If you have been wondering where I’m hiding, I have been spending a considerable amount of time writing about technology, education and business for other sites.

I have decided that I should get my own props a little so I will be launching a Business and Innovations site very shortly.

I will let you know where as soon as it is official and I hope you make the move with me!

Till then, I will haunt this site.

Fashion Convenience

Tags

I found this site today.

It is a place where you fill out a profile of sorts, they pack and ship you a trunk of designer clothes, and then you keep and/or return what you do or don’t want.

Kind of a personal assistant for shopping if you would.

I love the idea.  I love the concept.  I am very tempted to give it a shot to see what the trunk and quality are like.

Here are my questions though.

Is this what “modern” service looks like?  Would you use a service like this or do you still like the personal, live attention you get when you shop?  Your turn.  Go.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.